you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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