You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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