We're facebook friends in real life
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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