so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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