i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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