my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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