So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
