We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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