I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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