i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He passed out mid-signature
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize