i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
