just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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