he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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