One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
