Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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