He disabled his match.com account in front of me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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