I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
