You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
