I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
