i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize