Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize