we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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