I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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