a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
