Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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