You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
