i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is wine microwaveable?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
