he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
