so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
