wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My balls are so social today.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
