Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
