i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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