I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
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I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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