Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
dude. I can hear the air.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
