the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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