never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We just shotgunned beers for America
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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