Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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