Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
