he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
