we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
