I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize