My sheets look like a crime scene.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
