You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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