I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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