first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
