I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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