Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Floor bacon is actually really good
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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