That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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