how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
