i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
