why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
