If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
