Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
