Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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