i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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