If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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