I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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