Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand Curling. That high.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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