i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize