It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My bed smells like the plague
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
