I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
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HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
how drunk are you?
Several
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