omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
