Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
