we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
